failing like never before

Elmer and The Duck

As soon as he saw the duck, Elmer knew it was going to be a bad day.

Not that there's anything wrong with ducks. They're perfectly lovely creatures, with a natural grace and elegance unsurpassed by any other creature on earth. And of course, one must never forget, that no other animal on earth could replace a musical instrument in an orchestra with as much ease as a duck. In fact, many have found the sonorous calls of a sick duck to be more pleasing to the ear then that of the world's best oboe player.

Of course, ducks can be vicious creatures, perhaps not as vicious as their near relatives, the geese, but they possess a fury of their own, and are capable of leveling hordes of foes with a single powerful gaze.

But it was not the euphonious quacks that alarmed Elmer, nor was it the creature's bestial grace and beauty. It was not even the untamed fury of the water fowl. It was something else, something much, much greater.
Because this was no ordinary duck, this was a duck of unprecedented power and majesty. Amongst its peers, it was a god amongst insects, looming large against their insignificance. This was a duck that could raze a city with a buffet from its might wings and end the world with a single thought.

It was a fowl with thoughts so foreign to the human mind that even attempting to follow its thoughts would drive any man mad.

It is impossible to describe with simple words the torrent of emotions that flowed through Elmer as his gaze fell upon the beast. To quote Mark Twain, "words are only painted fire; a look is the fire itself." But as soon as he saw the duck, Elmer knew suddenly of its great power, and he knew, that it would be a bad day...

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There’s a story behind this story, and I’ll write that one when I get home.